Inferior
by Lady Nihil
Summary: And with one last crack, her perfect illusion shattered.
1. Dollhouse

**_Dollhouse_**

It was just getting worse. A shattered mirror, empty sake bottles and sometimes Kaa-San would come home with small, strangely shaped bruises on her neck **(Ino-chan called them hickeys)** and Tou-San came home with bright red lipstick stains on his shirt collar and I knew it wasn't mom, but-. I didn't like what was happening, my world was being torn apart but I desperately clutched on to my illusion, that everything would be okay, because I was only eight and my parents weren't supposed to act like that. Tou-San was supposed to treat Kaa-San like the most amazing, exquisite thing that had ever existed and Kaa-San was supposed to wait up hours, 'till Tou-San got home from work. Not scream and shout, simultaneously throwing things at each other in a rage.

 **{Timeskip}**

Two weeks later Tou-San left. **_He left_**. Kaa-San told me that he's never coming back again. She took me to the Hokage tower and left me standing awkwardly as I tried my hardest not to let the tears go. Later on, Tou-San walked by me, with no indication of scooping me up into his arms and ruffling my hair like he always did. Hanging on to his arm, was a woman. Pretty, I suppose with purple hair, but with ice-cold blue eyes. Carried on Tou-San's shoulders was someone I loathed, with purple hair and muddy brown eyes, looking at me with a twisted smirk was none other, than Ami. My perfect illusion, with one last crack, shattered.

 **So, this is my first foray into actually writing fanfiction so please be gentle with criticism and flaming. So uh, review and favorite my story...hopefully?**


	2. Your Fault

**_Your Fault_**

 **{Timeskip}**

The second I got home, I rushed to my room. I couldn't breathe. Tou-San chose her over me??! When I had told him about her and how she made fun of my forehead and Ino-chan? I sobbed, letting out all the bottled up feelings I had been holding in since Tou-San left me. Remembering how Kaa-San marched out of the Hokage office, brandishing divorce papers, and how Tou-San signed them so easily, a sudden rage swept over me, suffocating in its intensity. Punching my pillow repeatedly until the surge of anger passed, I slumped down on my bed. Feeling exhausted, I close my eyes and drift to sleep, wanting oblivion for once.

The moment I wake up, I remembered the academy and I feel like playing sick, just to avoid Ami. But she can't win, not yet, not yet. Dressing in a long sleeve skintight shirt that was forest green and black pants. Pulling on the ribbon Ino-chan gave me I tied it into a neat bow around my tiny bun. Dragging my feet I walk to the door and my mother hands me a bento, she leans down to kiss my cheek, and hug me. I wrap my arms around her as tightly as I could manage and then step back, worried I might be late. It's then that I notice her tear-stained cheeks, so I smile the smile that is her favorite, big and wide with sparkly eyes. She smiles back and I hurry through the door, hoping that Ami won't be there today.

 **{Timeskip}**

I curl into a small ball, as Ami's words hit me.

"You're so dumb, **_forehead girl_** , it's obvious why your dad prefers me so much more than you. I mean, seriously, **_fatty_** , why are you even wearing that shirt. Sasuke-Kun is going to be mine anyway, are you **_trying to impress him_**?" She throws back her head and laughs.

"No..." I whisper weakly, to no one.

 _"You wanna know a secret,_ **billboard brow**?"She leans over me and whispers in my ear.

"Your dad left because of you. Because you are **ugly** **, worthless** and **obese**. _ **It's all your fault that he left** ,"_

Finally, the academy bell rings and I rush home, ashamed of myself and my body.


	3. White Walls

**_White Walls_**

 **{Timeskip}**

It's been a month and all I can think about is how fat I am. Little by little however, I am reaching a perfect weight. Just two pounds. No, eight. Nevermind, make that ten pounds. I need to look less fat, more perfect so Tou-San will come back, I lie to myself. Then mom will stop drinking endless amounts of sake, and dad will ruffle my hair and tell me how proud he is of me. I just have to lose 13 pounds, I think to myself. Just thirteen.

 **{Timeskip}**

At the academy we are sparing today. I wish Ino-chan good luck, her going up against Hinata Hyuuga, a close-combat specialist. They make the seal of confrontation, and ten minutes later, Ino is panting hard, on the ground. Smiling, the Hyuuga heiress reaches for Ino, helping her up. They make the seal of reconciliation and Ino walks over.

"You did amazing, Ino!" Praises shower the queen bee of the school, even though she just lost. Ino slings an arm around my shoulder and grins at me. I hide my wince at the unexpected contact and grin right back at her, until I hear my name being called.

 **"Haruno Ami vs. Sakura!"**

I curse every god I know. Ino gives me a sympathetic look and I trudge reluctantly into the spar area.

"Begin!"

The instructors voice sounds, and then I'm dodging every hit I can, until a punch to the stomach has me retching up everything I have in my stomach, which is nothing but a tiny apple. I taste the acid my bile brings at the back of my throat, and then everything is spinning around and around, gradually turning my world black.

 **{Timeskip}**

I smell the antiseptic before I open my eyes and I know I'm in a hospital. Slowly opening my eyes up, I see nothing but white. Then the door opens and out comes a pretty lady, with brown hair and chestnut eyes. She has two purple rectangular birthmarks stretched across her cheeks. She gives me a bright, happy smile and holds out a calloused and scarred hand. I clasp her hand, surprised that her hands are still somehow smooth.

 ** _"Hello Haruno-chan, my name is Rin Nohara, and I'll be your personal doctor from now on."_**


	4. Shattered Glass

**_Shattered Glass_**

 **{Timeskip}**

It had been two months since I had been admitted to the hospital. Rin-sensei was very understanding and promised to teach me medical ninjutsu if I beat anorexia, and I've made enough progress that they allowed me to come home. Kaa-San and Ino-chan visited of course, but it wasn't exactly the same as being at home. The smell of antiseptic was something I was sick of, and I wanted to see something other than white.

"Hello Sakura-chan! How are you feeling today?" Rin inquired.

"I'm feeling great!" I said, bouncing up and down.

"Exited to go home, much?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Uh-huh! Besides I'll only miss you at the hospital, and I'll get to see you again!" Two months of therapy and I understood that Tou-, no, Haruno-San leaving wasn't my fault-it was his. Besides, Rin told me that it wasn't good to be starving my body of nutrients if I wanted to become a good ninja. I still found myself drowning occasionally, in the thought that _**everything was my fault.** _It suffocated me, on days when no one visited, enforced the thought that I was a worthless piece of trash. But those days, I just sat and breathed through them, read books, blocking out those thoughts with human anatomy and cell reproduction, poisons and antidotes. It worked, sometimes anyway. Rin smiled and me and ruffled my hair, shaking me out of my depressing thoughts.

"Well, I just signed the release paperwork, and you're free to go!" I squealed and threw my arms around Rin's back.

"Thank you, Rin-neesan!" Blushing furiously, I quickly ran out of the hospital into the great outdoors. I was surprised at my own daring to call Rin-sensei that. Slowing my run to a slow walk as I reached my neighborhood, I took in deep breathes through my nose, the aroma of Yuki's flowers reaching me. Freesia, roses, and lilies. I smiled at the picture they made, and picked up my pace to a run.

 **{Timeskip}**

I opened the door quietly, hoping to surprise my mom with my return from home.

"Kaa-San!" I expected a shout of excitement and her to rush to the landing. Instead, all I hear is a strange, strange creaking noise. It scares me, and my instincts tell me something is majorly wrong. I walk into the living room, finding shards of sake bottles dripping in blood. There is an envelope on the table. Numb, I pick it up and hope to god it isn't what I think it is. Addressed to me in sticky, metallic-smelling red paint is my name in elegant kanji. I rip the envelope open.

 _ **Sakura, I hope you forgive me. I'm sorry baby girl, I didn't think this would happen. Don't forget to brush your teeth, stay away from men and alcohol. This world is too harsh, and I am too much of a coward to live any longer.**_

 **I'm so sorry, my little cherry blossom.'**

The letter I am clenching in my hands drops, and I watch it flutter to the ground, numb. As it hits the ground, I start running through the rooms.

"Kaa-San! Kaa-San! Please, stop it, **this isn't funny!" _I stop short in her bedroom. Swinging from side to side is my mother, with cuts on her wrists and a smile on her face._ I could not breathe.**

 **

'OhgodOhgodOhgod,pleasepleaseplease,nothernother,anyoneelse,pleasepleasepleaseplease'

Hanging from a rope, swinging eerily is my mother.

I scream. Loudly. 

Okay, my dear readers, it is now up to you to decide if I continue or not. If I get five responses telling me to continue, then yes, I will. But I will not write another chapter until that happens. (Yes, I am bribing you to review my story. Deal with it.)

**


	5. Black Ribbons and Shadows

**_Black Ribbons and Shadows_**

The police were here. Swarming into the house after Yuki-San sent a message to them, hearing me scream. The police asked me questions, and I just...blanked out. Then Rin arrived. I threw my arms around her silently crying. She shot her most poisonous glare at them, and shouted, arguing with them. I couldn't hear anything they were saying. It was all a blurred, indecipherable mess to my ears. Everything was muffled, and I was suffocating again, drowning, voices echoing in my head. **_'WorthlessWorthlessWorthless'_**

We left. The bloodied carpet with shards of a sake bottle, image stuck in my head, with the metallic smell of blood. Walking through the streets with Rin, hand in hand, ignoring the questioning stares, faces and streets blurring as I walked with Rin-Sensei. We stopped at a mansion with a muddy lawn, and shoes strewn about. A sign, nailed to the mailbox read, Roses, Peace and Papercuts: An Orphanage for Little Ninja's. Painted in a screaming, neon orange-red. It made my eyes hurt. Rin entwined her hand with mine, leading me up the long, long, sidewalk before ringing the bell. Someone shouted, and before I knew it, the door opened. A beautiful woman stepped onto the porch.

 _"Hello, my name is Konan, and I'm the owner of the orphanage," She smiled down at me, cool blue hair and amber eyes, with really light orange-ish yellow eyeshadow._


	6. Hey

Hey, would you guys like for me to update this? I know it's weird since it's been over a year, but I was just wondering.


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